This can't be true!
by ButterBlume97
Summary: What if Hogwarts was a little different than we all expected it to be? (translation from German)


**Hey, I finally made it to translate one of my stories into English. Please tell me if it's good and if I should translate some more. I appreciate your reviews :)**

**When I wrote this I was very bored and I just wanted to write something funny that didn't make sense. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Greets, Butterblume**

* * *

I open my eyes. Everything I can see is bright light. I blink. Slowly the silhouette of a huge castle appears in the fog. I walk in its direction like I am in a trance. What is happening? It is very quiet. Too quiet. Where am I?

The question is answered when a boy, about fifteen years old, comes walking towards me. He has dark untidy hair and a scar on his forehead. Oh my gosh, that's Harry Potter! I am in Hogwarts! As I take a closer look I see he doesn't look as good as I expected. Maybe a bit too skinny. Well, not everyone can be built like a model.

When Harry spots me, his eyes widen in shock. I just want to explain how I got here, but he suddenly starts screaming: "Help! Please help me! The dark side has arrived to conquer our school! She made it into the castle! We are all going to die!"

I watch him irritated. Because of Harry's cry for help Ron, Hermione and a few others have arrived as well. One of the girls throws her arms around Harry's neck as if she wants to strangle him and starts crying. "Oh my god, Harry-Darling, what did she do to you? Does this very evil girl want to kill you? Don't be afraid, I will protect you."

Ron grins stupidly. "Evil, ha-ha… You're so funny!" At the same time he was scratching his neck. "That's nonsense!" Hermione interfered. Now I was getting curious.

"As it says in _Hogwarts, A History_, volume 3, 5th chapter, page 38, 3rd paragraph, I quote: 'No wizard can break the spells that have been surrounding Hogwarts for ages. Thus it's not possible to enter the grounds without permission." Okay. And why am I here? And another important question: How the hell can I get BACK? Because it is starting to get very weird…

"Guys, stay calm. I feel bad vibrations. Please don't fight, that'll only make bad karma. Concentrate on a good experience and let the energy flow." Luna stepped away from the crowd and sat down on the floor with her legs crossed. "I am trying to meditate," she announced.

They were all going crazy. What was I doing here? I had imagined Hogwarts to be completely different!

All of a sudden I heard someone shouting. This time it was coming from above me. Oh my god. Right above my head Voldemort was flying on a broomstick with about twenty of his Death Eater friends. Well, that was cool. I would be able to witness a real battle between Voldemort and Harry. It would be exciting.

Voldemort made his approach and stopped a few feet in front of Harry and the rest of the audience. If you took a closer look at him he didn't look evil at all. More like a friendly old man that loved to dress up ridiculously. (He was wearing a bright green robe with golden stars on it. The only thing that didn't fit his perfect appearance was the missing nose.)

"Wow, that's a nice welcome," Voldemort greeting us with an unnaturally high voice.

"Master, I am pleased to welcome you in our holy halls." I looked around to find the person who just said that. That couldn't be true! I couldn't believe that this… freak was Draco Malfoy, the guy my best friends insisted on having a crush on, though he wasn't real. Well, here he was in reality, but he certainly wasn't somebody I would fall in love with. If only they could see him like this.

Draco was wearing pink pajamas and bedroom slippers that looked like little bunnies. I this moment he kneeled down in front of Voldemort and started kissing his feet.

Now I had had enough. Was I having a nightmare and this was only my imagination fooling me? Did those people want to pull my leg?

Suddenly I heard a scream. Again. Seemed to be very common over here. Did Harry finally pass out? No, he was still clinging to his friend and looked as if he was about to pee his pants. Ron didn't grin anymore, now he was just looking stupid.

Oh no, I wasn't that lucky. A figure opened the door to the castle and ran towards us with his beard flying behind him. I thought I had seen enough, but this seemed to be Dumbledore. Maybe he was able to help me. At least he had appeared pretty smart in the books, if I was lucky, it would be the same in this strange world. But wait, what was he doing?

Dumbledore was in all seriousness approaching Voldemort and gave him a hug. "Hey, Tom, my buddy! It's nice you were able to accept my invitation. It's about time we are having a cup of tea together again." Peacefully they were all walking to the castle and left me standing outside alone.

I closed my eyes. That was clearly too much information. I couldn't stand all of my favorite characters acting so weird.

When I opened my eyes again a few moments later I was facing a white wall. Thank God. It had only been a dream.


End file.
